Fidelity in Marriage

There is a story written by a BYU-Idaho student about fidelity in her marriage. She has read in Goddard’s book in the chapter on purity some of things he said about the progression of unfaithfulness. “Behaviors that seem innocent (i.e., missionary work, doing good, helping in some capacity), an affection grows that claims part of one’s heart, extramarital flirting. Justification-“no harm intended”, relationship declared as “special”, opportunities created to see “special friend” (one worries what others will say/think), excuses made, lies told to hide time and resources spent on other person, spouse is displaced. Emotional intimacy exchanged with “special friend”, faultfinding with spouse, fantasies about the other person, physical affection-a squeeze, a kiss, a hug, sexual relations”. After she has read these things she felt horrible because she had a special friend and did not realize she could have an emotional affair. Once she realized what was going on, she repented, changed the way she did things and eventually she got out of the situation.

Have any of you ever found yourself in a situation like the BYU-I student? I am ashamed to say I have. When my second husband was sick and in bed I had a neighbor going through a divorce; it was around Christmas time and I wanted to do good for this guy and his kids. So my kids and I did the 12 days of Christmas for this family. Each day, twelve days before Christmas, we would put a gift on his front porch from “Secret Santa”. Well this guy started leaving notes for secret Santa, about how much he appreciated the thoughtful gifts, and how it was making his divorce easier. Christmas morning came my kids and I arrived at the house with one last gift. He and his family said they thought it was us. We spent the next six months doing things with this guy and his kids, having them over for dinner so my husband could be involved. Then another neighbor pointed out how much time we spent together. That was all it took for me to let go of my special friend, he found a great person and got remarried. My husband passed away five months later.

If you find yourself in any type of situation like this; please repent and get out. You never know when it will be too late.